When Bill disgusts everyone with his ability to guzzle hot dogs in a few seconds,he is depressed. Until a sexy woman from the International Federation of Competitive Eating (the NFL…

Hank likes the clean-cut music of the boy-band 4Skore, but when he takes Bobby to a 4Skore concert, he is shocked to find that the band does suggestive dance moves…

Dale and Nancy are renewing their marriage vows, and Nancy wants to invite Dale’s estranged father, Bug, a rodeo performer. Dale hates his father for making a pass at Nancy…

Peggy encourages lonely Luanne to join a sorority, but the snobbish sorority girls won’t have anything to do with her. So Luanne joins Omega House, a sorority where everyone is…

When Texas is out of Hank’s favorite Alamo Beer, he is eager to find out why. When his questions go unanswered, Peggy gains employment at the company to find out….

After learning the Army used him as a guinea pig for an experimental drug, Bill gets drunk and steals a tank, but Dale reveals that the information is wrong, Bill…

Peggy takes an online I.Q. test sponsored by the “Intelligence Institute of Texas,” and is declared a genius. When the head of the Institute, Dr. Vayzosa, offers her a chance…

Peggy stirs up rebellion among female workers at a Renaissance Faire where Hank is trying to land a big account. When she is assigned to be a house cleaning winch,…

Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the Olympic torch through Arlen, but it’s Hank who wins the honor—and bungles it.

Kahn tries to bribe Bobby to break up with Connie. Connie and Bobby decide to pretend to break up so they can get the money. When Connie’s behavior convinces Kahn…

Buck Strickland has to build a house for Habitat for Humanity as part of his community service, Hank does all the work. Buck is so pleased that he promotes Hank…

On Nancy’s 40th birthday, the TV station replaces her as the weather girl, with a younger, sexier, ditzier….Luanne. Crushed, and defeated, she cries day and night, looking for a remedy…

Bobby takes up a new interest in environmental issues, provoked by a new teacher. When the cause rallies to drain the quarry, and rid it of all waste, Hank is…

A doctor tells Dale that inhaling dangerous chemicals is affecting his health, and if he doesn’t give up exterminating, he’ll die. Hank gets Dale a new job as a faceless…

Hank’s new co-worker is Tammi, a not-too-bright young woman who just moved from Oklahoma. Peggy takes Tammi under her wing and offers to let her stay at the Hill house…

The guys go to Austin for Bill’s birthday. At the hotel, they decide to have some fun by mooning people through the glass elevator, and Hank accidentally moons the former…

Bill decides to create his own Santa’s workshop at home and spread the Christmas cheer to all of Arlen’s underprivileged youth. He enjoys it so much that he tries to…

Cotton can’t support his wife and baby on his pension, so he moves from Houston to the Arlen VFW. Hank gets him a job at a local restaurant, but the…

Peggy gets her big break when she is assigned to teach geometry at the high school. But she gets in trouble with everyone from her fellow teachers to the local…

Appalled that Luanne is unprepared to vote, Hank takes the family to the local fair where she can meet the political candidates. Hank is further appalled to find that Luanne…

The guys discuss what they want to pass on to their children, Bill becomes despondent because he doesn’t have any. In an effort to cheer him up, they help Bill…

After Bill nurses Hank, Peggy and Bobby through the flu, he starts to feel lonely when there is no one else to take care of. Hank gets Bill to volunteer…

Desperate to be needed, Bill searches for a new hobby. He joins an all-male chorus, the Harmonaholics, and the guys are taken by surprise but vow to be supportive. When…

When Channel 84 hires gung-ho meteorologist Irv Bennett, Nancy and her less-than-accurate weather reports are left out in the cold. Determined to remain an integral member of the news team,…

When smoking is banned in all Arlen restaurants and bars, an infuriated Dale stands up for the smoking community in an act of defiance by going from bar to bar…

John Redcorn tries to open a Native American gambling casino to provide a venue for his band, Big Mountain Fudgecake.

When the Tom Landry Middle School football team has to forfeit a game due to poor field maintenance, the booster club resolves to replace the school’s elderly groundskeeper, Smitty, and…

Cotton inherits $10,000 from the will of his friend Topsy, and goes to Mexico, with Bill in tow, to buy a timeshare. Feeling lonely after the death of his friend,…

Forced to decide between enrolling in shop class where he’ll work with guys and sharp objects, or joining the peer counseling class where he’ll talk lonely young girls through their…

Connie is turned down for admission to a prestigious summer school because it already has too many Asian kids. Realizing that working hard and overachieving will never help them get…

When Hank suffers a back injury at work and none of his doctors can fix it, he tries the healing powers of yoga. At first, he finds it a little…

Bobby’s knowledge of pop culture takes the Quiz Bowl team to the championships, but Bobby begins to buckle under the stress of competition.

After reviewing Bobby’s History textbook, Hank discovers that the story of the Alamo has been replaced. Hank teams up with Bruce Tuttle, an aspiring writer-director, to stage a re-enactment of…

When flood threatens the town, the Arlenites gather in the communal shelter: The Tom Landry gym. Hank is supposed to be in charge, but while he’s delayed at the town’s…

When NHRA driver John Force needs an organ transplant, Dale is the only one who can save him. Hank encourages Dale to ignore his fear of hospitals and give up…

Peggy volunteers to help with the school cheerleading squad, in order to get them to learn some cheers to motivate the football team. Up until now, the squad is only…

Luanne and Bill both get jobs at the hippest hair salon in Arlen, “Hottiez”. But to land the coveted spots, they make some major changes. Changes that don’t sit too…

When Hank asks Peggy to design an art piece for Strickland Propane, she creates the “Probot,” a statue made out of propane tanks. Her sculpture is rejected by the city…

After becoming inquisitive about how much money the family makes, Bobby decides that he will do some investigating of his own. After seeing some old paperwork in the garage, Bobby…

The actor who plays TV’s “Monsignor Martinez” invites Peggy to Mexico City to tutor his children for an English-language exam. In Mexico, Peggy starts to suspect that her suave employer…