Actually, we won’t. One of the classic M*A*S*H episodes. Henry finally gets his discharge. While he is tying things up, Burns prepares for his new command. Henry bids a tearful…

Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister.

Frank buys two sets of Pearl’s, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for…

The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General’s jeep drives through the camp. MacArthur is so impressed, he salutes!

Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found…

Hawkeye hits Major Burns and Houlihan is a witness. Despite Hawkeye and Trapper’s claims that it wasn’t intentional, Frank makes allegations against Hawkeye, and he is put in house arrest…

Camp activities include Henry’s nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye’s and Trapper’s heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.

The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. They are being attacked by their own artillery in a frightening “friendly fire” incident. Trapper and Margaret get trapped in…

A Greek Colonel thanks the 4077th by giving them food and drink for an Easter celebration. Bu the feast is foiled when softhearted Radar saves the main course from the…

Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a “damn good Joe,” the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a…

Sick and tired of having liver and fish for an 11-day stretch, Hawkeye, driven near to insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent. He and Trapper then orders spare…

The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone’s spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: “The plot thins. Watch…

Henry’s departure to Tokyo leaves Major Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp, especially from Hawkeye…

Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation, which forces him to stay.

When spring arrives, Klinger gets word from home that his sweetheart back in Toledo wants to marry him. Henry arranges for Father Mulcahy to do this over short wave radio….

The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Hawkeye does heart massage on a soldier, which saves his life, but he dies four hours later. Sidney…

While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean soldier, wanted by…

As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees…

The MASH 4077 is visted by General Steele. He wishes to move the camp 5 miles down the road. Hawkeye and Henry are charged with mutiny. And Hawkeye is also…

General Clayton calls so say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But…

The camp tunes into the Army/Navy football game, only to be shelled and have an unexploded bomb land in the middle of the compound. They ring around trying to identify…

The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john’s from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift,…

Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he…

Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A…

Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce’s disrespect…and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns’s shock. The rest of the 4077th “coronates” Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General…

The arrival of a new batch of mail leaves Trapper depressed, and thinking of desertion, despite Hawkeye’s efforts to dissuade him. Meanwhile, Hawkeye learns that he has successfully tricked Frank…

The supply lines to the camp are cut. Radar, the housing officer, starts doubling people up to save fuel and Klinger is thrown out of the nurse’s tent. People start…

While there are no casualties, Hawkeye & Trapper crate up Frank while he sleeps and receive gorilla suits through the mail. Henry gets a tan and gives another sex orientation…

A Korean family set up camp in the middle of the compound. A Korean woman with a baby comes looking for the father, and names Radar. Civilian affairs relocates the…

A riotous episode in which Hawkeye will do anything to get a new pair of boots: In order to get Zale to get him some, he must get an appointment…

Klinger pretends to be pregnant. Hawkeye and Trapper operate on General Mitchell’s son, and the General gives them 3 days in Tokyo Henry keeps getting calls from Tokyo about what…

The 4077th and friends convene for their weekly “Medical Conference,” A.K.A. Poker while Radar runs over a civilian and Frank is held hostage in the showers by an enlisted man.

Once more Hawkeye writes home to his father: the doctors operate on a soldier with a grenade shot into his body; Hawkeye and Trapper colour the skin of a racist…

Majors Houlihan and Burns press charges against Colonel Blake to get him arrested and put Frank in charge, and put Hawkeye and trapper under arrest so that they can’t help…

Corporal Walker is being sent home, and he wants to marry his Korean girl so she and their baby can return with him. CID sends Lt Willis to investigate, but…

Hawkeye operates on a 5-year old Korean boy, and Radar can’t find his family. Henry plans to send him to the orphanage, and the camp enjoys his company while they…

Radar writes the weekly activity report. Hawkeye operates on a wounded prisoner who grabs a scalpel and attacks the doctors. Frank wants Klinger thrown out on a section 8,so Henry…

Brought on by Frank and Margaret’s negative reports, General Clayton assigns a psychiatrist, Captain Hildebrand, to examine the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, to see if it should be disbanded. Henry tells…

When Fez decides to introduce his new girlfriend, Nina, to the gang, Kitty offers to throw a dinner party for the event. The guys resent being dragged to a dinner…

When Joe feels that his disability is holding Bonnie back from living a full life, he decides to get a leg transplant. Excited about his new ability to walk, Joe…